My mom went to Heaven September 7, 2007
Posted by watchmanwebb in Life Stories, death.add a comment
My mom went to Heaven August 28, 2007 at 10:25 P.M. I was on the phone with my sister when she was going home. My brother and daughter were also in the room with my sister.
When mom took her last breath it was like I was transported back in time to when I was a very little girl. In fact suddenly I was a scared little girl who despretly needed her mommy.
It was the most gut wrenching pain I have ever imagined. I cried so hard that I could not breath and I felt very sick to my stomach. Suddently my whole world was closing in on me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt so helpless as my mom went away.
Then, as I do so well, I put the whole thing in the back of my mind and went on with my life and what I had to do. I had responsibilities to take care of, so I did them. I was very, very happy for my mom who was now dancing in Heaven, but I felt a loss that is undescribable.
Mom’s memorial service was on the 5th of September. We all met at my mom and sister’s house a few days before the big event to plan and get ready. My aunt, cousins, sister, brother, daughter and I were all there telling stories and reminissing about our life and our mom’s.
Then the day came and we all did what we needed to do. It was not until later that night I finally started really thinking about what was really going on and how empty my life seemed without my mom, my very best friend.
This morning we all had to leave to get back to our different states. One by one we all packed up our cars with our suitcases and such, then we said our good byes; giving and hugs promising to stay in touch. It was not until after I had walked outside, shutting the door behind me that I realized everything I knew was now different. As I drove away I realized I driving into a new chapter of my life. Everything that was wrapped up in my identity had changed. Suddenly the chapter in my life titled “My Mom” was over and I drove away feeling scared and alone.
I never would have thought a person could endure such pain, yet people do it everyday. I am so thankful that my mom knew the Lord and that now she is dancing the streets of heaven. There is not a doubt in my heart that my mom is the happiest she has ever been. For that I am grateful to God. As for me, I start a new chapter; I lean on God, I pray for peace and I move on.
Good bye mom, I will see you soon. I love you very much and I already miss you more than words could ever describe.
Stories from my life July 25, 2007
Posted by watchmanwebb in Life Stories, Uncategorized.1 comment so far
I am going to talk a little bit about me and my world. We all have have stories that are worth sharing, stories that need sharing or stories that we need to get out of our minds. Today I am going to talk a little bit about the story of my mom.
My mom is 64 years old. In June she was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. This form of cancer is very aggressive and now her days are litteraly numbered. So during the past month, I have watched my mom go from the strong independant woman who worked two jobs to support her family to a woman very confused and in a lot of pain.
I watch my mom struggle with every breath she takes even though she is on oxegyn full time. I watch my mom slowly slip away right before my eyes and it is the worse kind of pain you can imagine. I feel so helpless for her. There is nothing I can do at this point except pray and be here for her support.
Just one month ago my mom and I talked every day. She lives in Oregon and I live in California. We would talk every morning, sometime before she went to work and sometime after she was at work. My mom has had a job since she was 14 years old. Her last job being the secretary of her church.
We would talk like I said every day, sometimes 3, 4 or more times. We would pray together, laugh together, and work though our troubles. But now there is no more calling no more runing to mom, my very best friend is leaving. Now I am here at mom’s along with the rest of our family, watching mom slowly melt away. The once strong, independant, funny women; is being reduced to confused, disoriented, and dependant, yet still funny.
It is hard for me to watch my mom slowly forget how to do the things she so loved to do. It is painfull to have to help her eat, because it brings back memories of what it must have been like when I was a baby and as helpless as she is now.
The strange thing is that her life is flashing before my eyes, and hard as I try I cannot stop the slide show. I am seeing pictures in my mind of my mom in different stages in her life. I see pictures of her smiling, laughing, crying, determined, working, relaxing, playing with her grandchildren ……….
My mom……….
So strong of a support system to so many, now she is the one needing support.
